Top Ten Subjects

It's about time for another top ten, right?

How about my top ten school subjects. We'll leave out college courses for now.


1. Consumer Math. This should be a required course. So many people don't know how to handle money or do simple arithmetic. Even with calculators, people are at the mercy of banks. Learn to do your own taxes!

2. Geometry. It's not about theorems and finding the surface area of a bowling ball. It's about learning logic. And boy, everyone needs that!


3. Comparative World Views. Why is the Bible different than Islam? What does secular humanism really mean? This is a practical, enjoyable class.

4. World History. Sadly, the achievement tests that our kids take seem to think that world history = American history. I love American history (see below), but it's more fascinating to see the whole world in scope.


5. Algebra. Yes, there's a lot of math here. But I just enjoy watching equations come together in an orderly fashion, and that begins in this class.

6. Any math class that includes statistics. I love stats, and while few high school classes zone in on them specifically, it's great when they devote a chapter or two to them.


7. Old Testament Survey. Let's explore the history of the Bible. There are great stories there, but it's also good to look at WHY we read about those stories.

8. Grammar and Composition. I'm no great writer, but it's important that everyone run, RUN from this internet jibber jabber that is turning people into illiterate fools.

9. US History. Man, it's amazing what we've managed to cram in 233 years of history (yes, yes, there are 300 years before that, I know). While not as neat as looking at the whole world, it's still great to learn about.


10. Speech and Debate. Like to argue? The rules and regulations keep this class fascinating.

Who uses crutches?

I know this is true, because every time a student comes to school on crutches, I don't think I ever see them use them. But their friends? 24/7


see more Funny Graphs

Top Ten Soups / Stews

As a kid, I was really keen on eating soup or stew. I didn't dislike soups, but I always felt like they were a side dish, or something you ate when a "real" meal wasn't available.

After college, however, I found myself eating more and more soup. Soup is especially awesome for lunch - and even better when you are slightly sick. I'm constantly wanting to eat it more and more. So I figured that I would list my top ten favorite soups and stews. And for the record, I'm still confused what exactly the difference is between a stew and a soup. I still say that they are the same thing. So I'm including them on the same list. You can argue in the comments.


10.) Chicken Noodle Soup - Okay, is this a bland addition or what? Everyone in the world eats this stuff, or reads incredibly sappy books that use it as a title. But when you are sick, there is NOTHING better. Now, the chunkier it is, the better, and it absolutely needs celery. I don't eat this often, but when I do get a chance, I relish every moment. It also probably has the best "drink" when you are done. And oddly, I like it with white meat. I need a bit more chewy-ness in my soup.


9.) Split Pea Soup - I know that a lot of people don't like this soup, and it does have one of the nastiest colors in existence. But this soup - which needs to be thick and delicious, can be simply amazing. Now, it's almost required that you put in chunks of ham - and directly off the bone is probably the best way. It does have the worst after effects of any soup I know (except for the deadly 16 bean soup), but I say it's worth it. Needs a drop or two of Tabasco to be perfect.


8.) Beef Stew - Now this one is subjective. Beef stew is good. Dinty Moore is not. I like beef stew, but it needs to taste at least slightly fresh, not like it's been sitting on a shelf for twenty years. Sadly, I've seen many people who seem to aspire to having their stew emulate the taste and texture of Dinty Moore. I want to chew my beef and potatoes, not slurp them through a straw, thank you.


7.) Mulligan Stew - This is what I prefer to eating beef stew, actually, simply because I like my own homebrewed brand. But while the basic gist of this soup is "put whatever is on the kitchen counter in it", I still enjoy it. I add in my secret ingredients - some would likely suprise you - and make about 100 servings of this once each year. And then I eat them for the next several weeks. And I'm happy.

6.) Ham and Potato Soup - Now this may seem similar to the split pea soup mentioned above, I enjoy this one more because of the potatoes. However, much as I love the picture to the right, I love a variation without the cream. Simply boil ham, potatoes, and green beans in a broth, and then add copious amounts of vinegar. That, my friends, is heaven.


5.) Chili - Yes, I know. This could be a whole category in itself. But three things are important to note here. First of all, while rice is optional - Saltine crackers are a MUST. Secondly, the amount of meat needs to be at part with the beans, and the meat must be in chewable chunks. And finally, while I don't need to blow my brains out with spiciness, it better have a zing. This is one thing us Yankees can't get - to make our foods that serious five alarm hotness.


4.) New England Clam Chowder - This soup is found at almost every buffet I've ever gone to. However, don't these people realize that you actually have to put more than one clam in per soup bowl. Lots of clams are needed, and then you also need a good amount of bacon and cheddar cheese. Then you can sit back and be simply happy as you eat one of the best dishes in existence.


3.) Mandu Guk - What? A soup you haven't heard of? That's because it's native to Korea, and it's one of the best soups in existence. Made from mandu (basically dumplings filled with meat), rice cakes, onions, and seaweed - it tastes much better than it sounds. I ask for this soup on a continual basis, and given the vast different amounts of mandu that are available - I think the variations are tremendous.


2.) Manhatten Clam Chowder - Why yes, I do enjoy me some clam chowder, how could you tell? I like the creamy flavor of New England, but tomato trumps milk, in my opinion. I get this one less often, because it requires more ingredients, but that just makes it better when I do get to eat it.

1.) Kimchee Chigae - And my favorite is yet another Korean soup. It's made of the kimchee - the most famous Korean dish in existence, and it's spicy as all get out. Now you can have it with spam and tuna, but it's at its best with pork. I love it, and think I could eat it every day. I never thought I would be keen on eating tofu, but this dish just makes it delectable. Wonderful. Wonderful. And wonderful.


Think I'm wrong? Got some better soups/stews? Tell me in the comments!

Top Ten things I saw in Malaysia

Well, it's been a while since I posted - which is due to two things. One, I went on a trip to Malaysia, and two, I was sick for a week or so after the trip.

On the trip back, I was just starting to get sick, so I foolishly checked my carry-on onto the plane. On it was my digital camera and my iPod, and both were "mysteriously" missing when I got back.

So gone are the 800 or so pictures and videos that I took while there. But I wanted to tell about my trip anyway, so I figured I would do so in the form of a top ten list.

We went to Kota Kinabalu, in the island of Borneo in Malaysia. Malaysia is still my favorite country to visit, because it's a whirlwind of colors, languages, cultures, and more. Not only that, but there is a very high class city feel, right next to the jungle. Beauty and more. I love going there for so many reasons. This time I was going as the sponsor of the senior class at our school. While it was fun going with the kids, I really am looking forward to going there with my family sometime. So what did I enjoy?

10.) Banana Boat: I've not ridden one of these before, but it wasn't that expensive, and everyone assured me it was a lot of fun. So me and five of the boys loaded up and off we went! And everyone was right - it was a tremendous amount of fun. I sat in the middle, confident in my life jacket until suddenly a swift turn by the boat driver landed all of us in the water. This was actually pretty funny (except for the two boys behind me who suddenly had 250 pounds of man fly right through them). Then I realized that we were out in the bay, and I had to climb back on the stupid banana boat. So eventually (after a great deal of tugging and pushing by the boys) I got back on. The jerk of a driver dumped us once again in the shallows, where it was easier to get on board, and then once again out in the middle of the bay. The third time I was literally screaming at him to not be a jerk and dump us again. Falling was fun, climbing in was not! And the third time, I just could not get back on the banana boat. This is certainly a tip that I need to go on a diet (which I'm on for ten days now!), but also that I should improve my upper body strength. Everyone was good sports about it - except for the evil driver, who laughed and laughed - and this picture shows us right after we got back to shore (I road in the boat on the way back).

9.) Fireflies: As a kid, I loved to stay out after dark and chase the fireflies (or lightning bugs). On the last day of our trip, we road a boat down a river to look at monkeys in the trees. This was pretty neat, and I had a good time. But the best part was after dark, when they drove us down the river at night. Fireflies landed in the trees by the thousands, providing natural Christmas lights. It's one of the coolest things I've ever seen, and I'm certainly glad we went. It was a bit odd travelling down a dark river with no lights on the boats, and my mind wandered to thinking about snakes and more. But nothing happened. Maybe next time someone will get swallowed, and then I'll have a story to tell!



8.) Board Games: I can already hear some of you screaming about my playing board games while in one of the most beautiful places on earth. But first of all, I only did it for a few hours, and secondly, I love meeting boardgamers from all over the world. The folks at CarcaSean (an obvious play on Carcassonne) were very friendly and nice - they knew who I was, and we even managed to trade a few games. It was a great time, and I plan to go back and visit them next time I'm in Kota Kinabalu.

Games played included Time is Money, A Castle for all Seasons, and Dominion. I won only one game, but had a blast - and everyone was excellent in both attitude and strategy.

7.) Shopping: While I don't consider myself a shopper (although this is NOT true when I have money and am in the Youngsan Electronics Market), I do like to find unusual and interesting things to buy - and Malaysia is full of them. Although I vacated one open market when I saw rats that were the size of cats (I kicked at a cat I saw for not doing it's God-given job), I had a great time hunting around. I bought a lot of spices, but I'm most impressed with the Malaysian teas - they have a very good flavor.

6.) Orangutan: I had to look this up to see if I spelled it correctly, and I didn't. Big shocker there, but I did have a great time hunting these fellows down (in my camera's viewfinder, people!) The resort we stayed at had an attached Orangutan reserve, and I spent an hour or so looking at them eat and swing through the trees. It was very neat, and I was impressed by the keepers telling me honestly that it was the best job they had ever had - some of them had been there for twenty years.

5.) Sea Diving: I road in some kind of "Scubadoo" device that allowed us to go around one of the reefs and check out the fish. It certainly looks dorky (and isn't cheap!) and I was very undecided as to whether I should use it or not. But once I was down there, with literally tens of thousands of fish swimming around me, I couldn't believe that I had hesitated. One of the neatest experiences of my life - this was absolutely amazing, and I'm glad I went. Feeding the fish, seeing the "real" Nemo, and doing almost no work in the process, this was incredible.

4.) Snorkling: Now snorkling is not as amazing as going under the sea, but I put it up a point simply because it's free, and therefore I did it longer. Just going out about twenty feet into the water with a bag of bread crumbs will bring hundreds of tropical fish around. It's like swimming in an aquarium. I had a great time doing so, and headed out deeper and deeper, until I felt something nip at my ankles. Screaming like one of my girls, I soon found that it was simply some of the fish, but it was certainly unnerving. It didn't keep me out of the water, but I did dance around like a puppet while feeding the fish. I would gladly do this again.
3.) Pool: Now I will admit that I've scoffed before at the idea of a pool right next to the ocean. Why go swimming in the pool when you can jump into the waves. Now I know. While there's something wonderful about feeling the tidal waves wash over you, water that contains neither sand nor salt is just relaxing. I spent quite a bit of time in the pool, and if my ears are sunburned a bit, I don't care. It was an amazing time, with amazing views. I have been won over to the idea of the resort.



2.) Food: Without a doubt, Shangra La hotels make the best breakfasts in the world. Being able to go to the cook and order a custom double-meat, double-cheese, extra of everything else omelot is one great way to start the day. I never missed breakfast while there, and enjoyed the wide range of foods three or four times a day. Malaysia is amazing because they have restaurants and foods from all over the world, yet for rock bottom prices. A McDonald's Meal, for example, is about $2, and I went to eat at a fancy seafood restaurant with plates and plates of food, for only about $18. I ate and ate and ate and ate. And yet I still think I lost weight, if only from falling off that accursed banana boat!

1.) Speed Boat: I've ridden in boats before, but never a speedboat in bay with the sun beating on my back. We road out to islands, to docks, and more, and if they had refused to allow me to leave the boat, I think I would have been quite content. I can't believe how much fun, and how relaxing it is, to have the spray of the water hit you while driving at 60kmh out on the bay. It's something that I've thought about, and wished I could do again - easily making it my favorite activity. When I retire someday (at age 80, likely), I think I'll get a boat and drive it around every weekend. This is amazingly fun!

And that's about it. I could talk for much longer about the fun we had, and the silly stories that happened from our time there, but why not save those for anecdotes in the future?

Top Ten Musical Instruments

Violet sure seems to blow that harmonica like she knows what she's doing, but the noise that comes out is akin to the death wheezes of an aging bagpipe. Still, it's hilarious to watch, and she takes it extremely seriously.

If you get to know me, you'll know that I love making top ten lists, about anything and everything. So I figured I would post them here in this blog at various points. Let's start with my top ten favorite instruments.

10.) Timpani Drums - Okay, this is an odd choice of instruments, but this is the instrument that MAKES the symphony orchestra for me. When you hear the booming of them in the beginning of a piece, it brings such majesty, such power - that I immediately stop and listen.

9.) Xylophone - Yes, "x" is for xylophone - that's my ESL teaching coming out. (and I've always been irritated that this is the example they use). Anyway, I actually prefer duel xylophones, with people banging away on them like crazy. Too bad the instruments are bulky and difficult to move around - I've always wanted to learn how to play them.

8.) Trombone - A brass band needs the trombone, and hearing them do the slide brings shivers when I hear it. Oddly, I'm not as enthused about them when played solo, but I do enjoy them in a group - trumpets alone do not have enough oomph in bands.

7.) Fiddle - Yeah, I said fiddle instead of violin. Are they different? Wikipedia says they're basically the same - and I mean the style of music. A good violinist can make you cry. A good fiddler can make the most stoic of men dance. Crying is good sometimes, but I rather tap my foot, thank you.

6.) French Horn - Such a mellow, rich sound - I wish bands and orchestras give them more solos. When backed up by strings, it's something I can close my eyes and just listen with enjoyment.

5.) Clarinet - I love Dixie music, and a good clarinet player will make me stop and listen - even in the most exciting amusement park in the world (why is that the only place I run into Dixie bands?). The trumpet is louder, and brasher. But the clarinet is the instrument that brings the true melody to the group.

4.) Trumpet - Brash, loud, blaring. Without them, I couldn't stand brass bands. I wouldn't be able to smile as much as I do when I hear Bugler's Holiday by Leroy Anderson. The trumpet IS the orchestra. The leader, the best - and hearing them in God is Good All the Time brings me joy every time.

3.) Accordion - Yeah, I said it. I'm tired of the accordion being associated with polka. Yes, it is the mainstay of that brand of music, but a master of the accordion - and they certainly are rare - is amazing to listen to. Add an accordion to a band, and someone who knows how to wield it, and you have increased it's likeability by 100%.

2.) Piano - The only instrument I know how to play (okay, I know how to play the trumpet - we just haven't worked out any of the kings yet). Still, the pianist is the master of the orchestra, the leader - they don't need anyone else to sound good. And the variety of styles are amazing - from honky tonk to ballads.

1.) Theater Organ - I love the grandeur of the pipe organ, but the theater organ is still my favorite. When I was a kid, I went to an organ maker (forget the name now), and an old man sat down at the organ and played several pieces for us. I was transfixed, and I've never forgotten it. Yes, silent films are dead and gone - and theater organs have been mostly relegated to recordings at ice rinks - but it's still my favorite instrument. Perhaps modern keyboards have replaced them to some degree, but it just isn't the same.

Okay, those are my favorite instruments - the Definitive List of Best Musical Instruments. What's yours?